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Post Info TOPIC: Alanon Step One 1-1-2019 (12 31)-


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Alanon Step One 1-1-2019 (12 31)-


Step One WE admitted we were powerless over  alcohol -- that our lives had  become unmanageable
 
C2C page 240  When I  was dealing with alcoholism without the help of Alanon i developed coping skills 
that are no longer enough    Alanon is teaching me a new set of skills  i will try to be patient with myself as i  learn these new tools 
 
My share
at the beginning of this recovery journey, admitting  my powerlessness was certainly  challenging . Today after many years of accepting the facts of my powerlessness  over others I find  is a great  gift
 
.  I have learned to keep the focus on myself  by preparing gratitude and asset list .  
During the process of admitting my powerlessness, I developed a true and powerful. Faith in a power greater than myself that today I can:call for guidance and courage.
The Al-Anon slogan that reminds us to; "keep coming back." Is indeed a fantastic weapon against this dreadful disease.
 
Step one questions
 
Do I accept that I cannot control another persons behavior?
 
How well do I take care myself?
 
What is the difference between pity and love?
 
How do I feel when I'm alone?

How do I know in my life is unmanageable ?
 
Do I take care of others easily find it difficult to care for myself is
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

r


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Betty


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Good morning Betty! Thank you for your service. As I consider this program and what I've gain by doing my best to live it and work it, I am forever grateful for Step One...

I too struggled to accept powerlessness. With many years of unhealthy habits and ways of coping, old habits were entrenched deeply. I felt the term and admission of powerlessness was admitting failure, weakness, or the like. I did not trust others or God at that time to realize that accepting and admitting powerlessness is actually empowering, humbling, life-changing!

It took time for me to realize I could not control, change, cure another - related to this disease or any other. I was and remain powerless over alcohol - consuming it, engaging with it in others, store displays, commercials, etc. For me, my powerlessness is larger than the alcohol so I often just consider mind-altering substances.

Today, I practice living life one day at a time, reminding myself each morning that I am powerless over all other people, places and things. I practice taking care of me one day at a time, to include physical, emotional, spiritual and mental needs. I pray for those I love who are battling this disease, directly or indirectly. My prayer list is greater to include those I have harmed or have been harmed by as well as those who are in recovery and/or not yet in recovery.

Starting my day 'the program way' is an important part of my self-care. I believe when I am spiritually fit, I can deal and heal from 'life' in healthier ways. When I feel compelled to open my mouth to advise, counsel, suggest 'fixes' in others, I practice pausing instead to pray and consider a healthy response vs. a habitual reaction.

I am grateful that my focus today is better aligned with the Serenity Prayer - focusing on what I can change (me) vs. what's not mine to change. I practice unconditional love and acceptance and no longer pity others, instead offering them to my HP for his will vs. my own. Step One gives me the ability to own I am not responsible for anyone, but me and when I dabble in the will and lives of others, I am inviting chaos, drama a/k/a unmanageable events back into my life.

Again, thank you for your service and Happiest of New Year to you and yours!

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~~~Serenity is not the absence of turmoil but the ability to deal with it.~~~



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Good Morning IAH Thank you for sharing your considerable wisdom regarding this important Step. No matter how long i am in program I still grow from reading or hearing another member's ESH
Happy New Year

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Betty


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hey Betty thank you for your service....GREAT questions

 

 
 *Yes, I can accept that I am powerless over another person, or place or situation, etc.
 
 *Taking care of me waaaay better , guess I am beginning to love/accept me
 
 *I used to not understand that pity is NOT love, it is like , to me, sorta of a CoDa response to someone who is down or hurting or whatever, its not healthy because pity usually caused me to think I had to fix/rescue the person...Love is letting them do what they can do, not enabling them, letting them learn their lessons, an IF they need a boost, no worries, i will encourage, support, etc., but they have to want to help themselves...
 
*Used to hate being alone, now its OK..i am more OK being with just me

 *I can tell my life is unmanageable but the anger, fear, frustration i feel...then its time to work the steps/slogans to get me back on track and realize that I do have choices..i can cast the burden...step back...get help...reach out...research...get on board and get ESH from others
 
*Used to have trouble caring for myself (didn't think I deserved it) but no trouble caring for others


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Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up


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Hi Rose thanks for sharing your thoughts on this important Step



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Betty


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Hi Betty, Hi all here. This is a big new step for me. So without further ado here we go:

*yes, I accept that I cannot control my AH behavior. Only he can.
* I dont care well for myself at all. I go in fits and spurts where I decided Im going to eat better, exercise, even ride my horses, but then life gets busy and others expectations of me get the better of me and I bowto them. I must learn to stop.
*Without looking things up, I feel that pity comes from a place of love but is not a replacement for love. To have pity on someone to me means you feel bad for that person because of their circumstances at the time. If you do not love, you cannot have pity either.
*I actually love being alone. At least for a time. No one expects anything of me or from me except maybe my pets. And they dont require much and give back ten fold.
*it is difficult for me to admit when my life is unmanageable. At times I feel overwhelmed and at those moments I guess it is unmanageable but things always seem better the next morning in the light of a new day.
*As a veterinarian as well as a mother it is soooo much easier for me to take care of others before myself.

Carol

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!

 

Hunter S. Thompson

 



-- Edited by Vetmom00 on Sunday 6th of January 2019 03:07:57 AM

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Hi Hunter Thank you for your honesty . I appreciate your joining in and looking so deeply within to uncover how we all tend to make our needs invisible and care for others.
We do a Step a month here so please keep coming back



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Betty


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Hi all and thank you Betty for the questions. I'll take those to guide my share.
Step one questions

Do I accept that I cannot control another persons behavior?
Lately, no. So I do need Alanon. My Alanon journey started a long time ago. Yet at times I slide into that old river of "denial."

How well do I take care myself?
At times I have had big challenges in that department. By returning to Alanon, going back to work, trusting more, fearing less, and working "the program" life's not such a burden lately.

What is the difference between pity and love?
Hmm. Good question. I do not like to be pitied, I know that. So it is treating someone with a kind of belittling, disrespect. It is seeing only part of the picture of who someone is. Love is having an open heart and seeing the whole person as I would want to be seen with assets and challenges, not perfect but having possibilities for life now and in the future.

How do I feel when I'm alone?
I really like being alone.

How do I know in my life is unmanageable ?
Good question. If I start obsessing about someone or something, that's a good indication. If I try and try to change something without any effect. If others start distancing or acting concerned or angry a lot.

Do I take care of others easily find it difficult to care for myself is
To some extent. Sadly I try to care for others in a way that tends to tick them off. LOL. But that's good in one sense, because then I get to focus on myself again, which HP seems to want me to do.

Thanks for helping me to understand my Step One journey a bit more than I did before. Bye for now.
Abbey


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Hello Abbey So glad that you found us and had the courage to share your thoughts on this important Step with such honesty and clarity. We do a Step a month here so please do keep coming back , We also support a Message Board and chat room that might be helpful Here are the links

 

 

http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html

 



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Betty
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