The first time I worked step 4, my sponsor had me do a simple exercise of just writing out my life story. That was it. Through that writing I then often found myself inventorying my actions and behaviors as a natural course of the writing. I rarely found myself to be just an innocent victim in my life - and of course that was only possible because of the previous work I had done in the program, learning that the majority of the time, I played a voluntary part in my life - although at the time I didn't quite realize the choices I was making.

I've since come across another approach to taking an inventory, and that's in the form of writing a letter to my HP. I lay out the situation then I ask questions along the way... "what was my motivation? I'm confused... etc." Again, through the writing I start to find that answers come.



Can I look honestly a myself?
Yes. But I was only capable of doing this with the previous footwork I had done in the program. I knew I wanted change and that it had to begin with me, which mean I'd have to be very honest in my self-review.

Have I requested help from a sponsor or another Al-Anon member in order to understand the spiritual principle of an inventory?
Yes. My sponsor has ever been a guiding light as I work the steps, as well as shares from the group when the 4th step comes up as a meeting topic.

Do I practice patience with the newcomer?
Yes. I think this is more from a stance of empathy than anything. I remember how I felt at my first meeting and I keep that in mind as they share.

Am I generous and try to contribute to the group by volunteering?
Yes. I make sure I hold a service position with my home group. I step in and chair a meeting when needed. I volunteer to lead topics, I set out chairs, put chairs away, greet members - new and old alike, stay and chat afterward, suggest and offer fellowship, supply my contact information.

What ways do you appreciate the good in another?
Verbally thank them whenever possible. If I feel inspired by them I remember their words or actions and move to emulate those words or actions myself in my own life.

am I resentful?
Yes. I can get resentful at times. Through experience in the program this doesn't typically last long, however. I know, ultimately, when I'm seeing faults in another it's because I have those same faults and they're the personal faults I really dislike about myself. So this reminds me to work on myself.

Do I resent my tests?
Occasionally. I honestly think more than often I don't resent them. I just feel relieved to get through them. I think if any resentment comes up, it's typically more resentment aimed at myself as I have a perfectionist attitude and expect that I'm supposed to "know better".

Do I resent authority figures?
Rarely. It's more fear than resentment if a negative occasion arises.

How do I judge myself?
Expectations of perfection. Disappointment.

Am I fearful?
It's the core of my negative behaviors. Yes.

Why am I desirous of holding secrets?
Fear. Shame (which it's root to me is fear.)

Do I feel sorry for myself and have self-pity?
In times where I'm being tested, yes. When this starts to happen I know to use the tools the program has provided me.

Unlocking supportive energy for the stepvvork:
Finding forth vvhat is useful as something talked about and shared - such as ---- -- --- A point of resentment for me is that it vvas not possible and still is complicated to criticize the mother and father to me as I grevv up - a person that consumed substance of some kind addictively is kind of safer for the kid as such can talk about that; its obvious as an issue and thus the child ends not up scapegoated and such. Admittedly though there are other joys and strengths to that I grevv up vvith the uncriticizeable parents - albeit all this explains a lot about hovv I vvrite; the vvrongdoing I bring to the obvious - vvhich one can vvonder is part of like a reproduction-based forming of "drug -> integrity and such broken, pair up and fixate possibly reproduce, enter to recovery possible preceded by separation" < see, its easily pointable avvay as insanity thus for vvhereever above may hurt (like causing denial about parents consuming substance as a good thing .. and such just making stepvvork important - a bit of sacrificing addiction recovery combined vvith various other programmes - the ever-deepening career better than an education .. vvhile lonely.." < see there you care for the chastity of the person and recover instead of being lured in and possibly seek SLAA. (Trustability increase, .. don't be lured in by that either) --- -- ----

-- Edited by mQar on Thursday 2nd of January 2020 12:26:29 PM