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Post Info TOPIC: Alanon Step 4 ( 3-312019)


Guru

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Posts: 1014
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Alanon Step 4 ( 3-312019)


Step 4
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves
 
 
C2C reading .page 55
I can't find a solution to a problem when  fears or frustrations confuse me.  A searching and fearless moral inventory of myself can make a difference. Whenever I work the steps, I tell my higher power that I am willing to heal to find a solution to feel better. The energy that would have dumped into worrying fears having turned into positive action. We all wish good things to happen to us that we cannot just pray and then sit down and expect miracles we must backup our progress with action

My share:
When I first began working the steps I was terrified to arrive at  this step.  The  first time that I made the effort was extremely rewarding so I must report that I worked many fourth  steps over the years after the first one.  The rest were indeed  fearless because I had found a loving Higher Power in the rooms and knew that i was being guided.
 
Examining my motives whenever I feel out of sorts  or angry is an excellent means of discovering exactly what is churning inside me.
 
Before program I often fooled myself into believing that i was perfect and my actions motivated by kindness. becoming more  honest with myself and instead of denying the reality I embraced the fact that I had uncovered a new defect and proceeded to work even harder.  alanon has helped me tremendously as we  are all human being and imperfect . No need to strive for perfection as it is impossible so the best I can do is to uncover the actions and attitudes that I have developed that caused me pain and discomfort

Step 4 questions<
 
Can I  look honestly a myself?

Have I requested help from a sponsor or another Al-Anon member in order to understand the spiritual principle of an inventory?

Do I practice patience with the newcomer?
 
Am I generous and try to contribute to the group  by volunteering?
 
What ways do you appreciate the good in another?
 
am I resentful?
 
Do I resent my tests?
Do I resent authority figures?
 
s how do I judge myself?
 
Am I fearful?
 
Why am I desirous of holding secrets?
 
Do I feel sorry for myself and  have self-pity /
 

 

 


__________________
Betty


Newbie

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Posts: 4
Date:

The first time I worked step 4, my sponsor had me do a simple exercise of just writing out my life story. That was it. Through that writing I then often found myself inventorying my actions and behaviors as a natural course of the writing. I rarely found myself to be just an innocent victim in my life - and of course that was only possible because of the previous work I had done in the program, learning that the majority of the time, I played a voluntary part in my life - although at the time I didn't quite realize the choices I was making.

I've since come across another approach to taking an inventory, and that's in the form of writing a letter to my HP. I lay out the situation then I ask questions along the way... "what was my motivation? I'm confused... etc." Again, through the writing I start to find that answers come.



Can I look honestly a myself?
Yes. But I was only capable of doing this with the previous footwork I had done in the program. I knew I wanted change and that it had to begin with me, which mean I'd have to be very honest in my self-review.

Have I requested help from a sponsor or another Al-Anon member in order to understand the spiritual principle of an inventory?
Yes. My sponsor has ever been a guiding light as I work the steps, as well as shares from the group when the 4th step comes up as a meeting topic.

Do I practice patience with the newcomer?
Yes. I think this is more from a stance of empathy than anything. I remember how I felt at my first meeting and I keep that in mind as they share.

Am I generous and try to contribute to the group by volunteering?
Yes. I make sure I hold a service position with my home group. I step in and chair a meeting when needed. I volunteer to lead topics, I set out chairs, put chairs away, greet members - new and old alike, stay and chat afterward, suggest and offer fellowship, supply my contact information.

What ways do you appreciate the good in another?
Verbally thank them whenever possible. If I feel inspired by them I remember their words or actions and move to emulate those words or actions myself in my own life.

am I resentful?
Yes. I can get resentful at times. Through experience in the program this doesn't typically last long, however. I know, ultimately, when I'm seeing faults in another it's because I have those same faults and they're the personal faults I really dislike about myself. So this reminds me to work on myself.

Do I resent my tests?
Occasionally. I honestly think more than often I don't resent them. I just feel relieved to get through them. I think if any resentment comes up, it's typically more resentment aimed at myself as I have a perfectionist attitude and expect that I'm supposed to "know better".

Do I resent authority figures?
Rarely. It's more fear than resentment if a negative occasion arises.

How do I judge myself?
Expectations of perfection. Disappointment.

Am I fearful?
It's the core of my negative behaviors. Yes.

Why am I desirous of holding secrets?
Fear. Shame (which it's root to me is fear.)

Do I feel sorry for myself and have self-pity?
In times where I'm being tested, yes. When this starts to happen I know to use the tools the program has provided me.


__________________


Guru

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Posts: 1014
Date:

Good Morning Aloha Thank you for sharing your considerable ESH Writing out our life story is a great exercise to become familiar with looking within- great suggestion I also liked examining my motives once I found the courage to look within.
Thanks for your honesty and clarity.

__________________
Betty
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