Learn how the 12 Steps work. Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! We discuss each of the Twelve Steps In the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.

Members Login
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Tradition 11 Al Anon

Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 42
Tradition 11 Al Anon

Tradition 11 - Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, films and TV. We need guard with special care the anonymity of all AA members.

I have so much ESH on this specific tradition. I'll start with attraction rather than promotion. When I came to Al Anon I was very hard on myself for how I had parented my kids. Today those kids are grown adults. I am so grateful that I am able to share the program with them without promoting the program. They both believe Al Anon takes too much of my time. So when either of them tell me of a problem they have with another person, I like to say "as adults we all get to make our own decisions and deserve the respect to make them" Today, my girls will actually ask me if that phrase applies to a specific situation. YES!!!! That's attraction versus promotion.

Personal anonymity - I try so hard to use my first name only. When adding my name to a phone list, I provide a first name only. When on a zoom meeting, I use a first name only. Here on these boards, I use a first name only. It's my way of protecting my own anonymity.

Protecting the anonymity of those in AA. This is where I am probably the most careful. When I share I often say "my loved one" Of if I need to use a pronoun, I often say "they" versus him/her. It truly doesn't matter who the alcoholic is, what matters is I became sick too and I need Al Anon for me.

So who else has a share from tradition 11?


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 164


  smile Thanks Audrey...

10 or 12 years ago we had a visit, to this part of the world, from the CEO of Alanon. At that time this person was Rick B.

Rick shared as the C in C of Alanon... and also as a member. His own ESH. He gave a very clear boundary between the two roles.

His visit was recorded in a small town newsletter. A town of 400 people. Which mentioned his visit to the town. This was in his CEO role.

A city group south of there called a conscience meeting and questioned this.


it was a great time. he was warm and approachable. This small town met him in a damp old hall- a place where the local Alanon meeting was. The figurehead behind his visit was our oldest old-timer who came from a smaller rural town about 40 km distance.

I think sometimes that some of us are too passive aggressive about talking about Alanon. Me in particular. There mere fact that I went to meetings saved my relationship with my daughter.

Beside that my plan is to demonstrate the ESH that I have learned from Alanon. I had to create and build boundaries in my world- to give good parental guidelines. When I see boundary setting demonstrated in the programme- this gives me the chance to learn.


To sum up: I use Alanon Concept 4 as a guide: "participation is the key to harmony". 

It means that we don't have to be perfect. We can make mistakes.

Just getting involved is enough. aww ...

smile smile smile smile


Participation is the key to harmony.


Status: Offline
Posts: 23

Hi Audrey and David, I'm glad I stumbled upon this post! It is a fascinating topic -- what is the line between attraction and promotion? I suppose that simply living the program is the best attraction -- and Audrey I love how you are able to share it with your daughters. I also share Al-Anon with my daughter, who has attended some meetings in the past and knows some of the language -- and I occasionally share with her a new slogan I have learned.

I recently heard a funny story from a speaker at one of our district-wide meetings. She happened to mention that her job is as a corporate trainer, and sometimes in her classes she will use an Al-Anon phrase (without disclosing that is where it's from) -- and the students think she is so brilliant to know this wise thing! But she can't tell them she got it from Al-Anon. Actually I've had a similar experience myself, sharing some Al-Anon wisdom with a friend, and she asks, "Wow, how did you know that, where did you get it?" Fortunately a couple of my friends know I am in Al-Anon and I can tell them where I got it.

I think in carrying the message by attraction, the message would be "Al-Anon helped me." Promotion might be "You really need Al-Anon, your life is a mess!"

I am also very careful about anonymity and use only a first name and last initial in my Al-Anon dealings. I also protect the anonymity of the alcoholic who brought me here. That's why I don't mention my Al-Anon membership to most people, even though I am proud and grateful for my involvement in the program. In the rooms, I will refer to "my late husband." -- because I want anyone in the same situation to know we have this in common and they could approach me if they want to talk about our common situation. Outside of the rooms, I don't want anyone asking or deciphering who my qualifier is, because his story is not mine to tell, and I know there is a stigma around this disease.

Great topic, and I hope I made a bit of sense!


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 42

Thank you both so much for your shares. I love hearing how others understand our steps and our traditions and how they apply to them to all of their affairs. 

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.

Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to

Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book)


Courage to Change

The 12 Steps 
For Adult Children

Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums
Recovery Book Store

All Books in our bookstore are recovery related books, please visit the store and make a purchase for yourself or someone you want to shine some love on!

Alcoholics Anonymous Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions



Daily Affirmations for Adult Childern

When you buy a book you are helping support Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums

We have over 100 recovery books in our bookstore which is affiliated with  The fastest, safest and easiest way to get your new reading material sent directly to you.