Step One Al-Anon

Davie · Member

RE: Step One Al-Anon

rose · Newbie

Path's to Recovery-Step One pg 9 "Admitting our powerlessness may be very difficult for us. After all, we are the competent ones who held the family, the job or the world together while the alcoholics in our lives created chaos. How can it be that we, the responsible ones, are powerless? In Al-Anon, we come to understand that our lives may be unmanageable because we are trying to control the people and situations in our lives. it can be hard to conceive that our well-meaning efforts have been part of the problem, but by the time we reach Al-Anon, we are finally ready to try something, anything, new. We have to admit that nothing we do or don't do can control another person's drinking? How can we help an alcoholic? In Al-Anon we learn to accept the things we cannot change (the alcoholic) and change the things we can (ourselves). To recover we have to learn to keep the focus on ourselves."

Oh how this hits home! Brought tears to my eyes. I am the strong and competent one, aren't I?

I am new here. My husband is the A. I have a 3 1/2 beautiful son that I need to heal for. I don't even know where to begin with this. I have gone to al anon meetings in the past but it is very hard for me to get out in the evenings. But the only why I am going to learn to detach is by working the steps. I know this. My A is again working the program and I need to also. I need support just like he does.

Where do I begin with this? What books should I buy? I am lost.

Vicky R · Senior Member

thanks everyone for the reminder - yeah sometimes working on ourselves can free us from obsessing about someone else as you say , not always easy to do !

llol Vickyr x

Lilith · Newbie

Hi all,

I'm new to the boards and fairly new to AlAnon. My partner is an addict and just got out of rehab for the second time. The first time around, I began working the steps, but I relapsed as soon as my partner did.

This time 'round, I'm focusing on my own recovery more than hers. Because I have finally actually realized that I AM powerless over my partner's addiction. My life has become completely unmanageable. I can't handle all the arguing and the financial troubles and trying to cover up for her and ... well, it's just INSANITY. I can't do it. I - the person who has always been in control and responsible for everything - is completely powerless. I can't fix it. It is not my responsibility to fix her problems.

Thank you so much for having these boards. What a tremendous help!

Best,

Lilith

Wilted · Newbie

I admit that I have no power over alcohol either and my life is definitely unmanageable at this time. I feel so depressed about all of this that some days I just can't find the strength to get out of bed. I'm tired of living this way and I'm ready to surrender my life to my HP and let him bring the changes in me that are so badly needed at this time.

It has been so hard being newly married at 55 years old and learning that I am married to an A. who loves his alcohol more than me has been devastating to say the least. The hardest thing is knowing that I moved far away from my kids and grandkids to marry and build a life with this man and I can't count on him keeping any of his promises to me or him even building a life with me. For the most part I am married in name only and I don't know if I will end up staying with my AH or not, at this point I am not ready to make any decisions except to get the help I need at this time so that I can be well and whole no matter what my AH decides to do with his life.

I thought I found a face to face Al-Anon meeting to start attending today, but it seems that this meeting has been dropped. I have a number to call to try to locate another meeting that I could attend here in Florida.

Any suggestions on what book or books I should begin with?

Wilted

crich · Newbie

Freed from the obsession with another person , we could focus our attention on ourselves. We looked at how our lives had become unmanageable . How did we change our negative attitudes ? How did we find the path to self-awareness ? What actions did we take to change ourselves for the better and how and where did we get the help we needed ? "

Just started AlAnon because my sister is a cutter and a methamphetamine addict (now in a hospital). I feel better knowing she is contained safely.

My life has become unmanageable. I have 2 demanding jobs and create clutter all around me. My usually happy self has not been around for about a year. I have been mean and blaming to my husband.

I did an easy yoga video today and feel much better. The clutter is picked up now that I am focusing on me. I deepended my spiritual practice after a meeting Friday night. I choose to be kinder to others. I am grateful my friend cared enough about me to take me to a meeting. I have been sending a grateful list to another friend for a few weeks.

Learn how the 12 Steps work. Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! We discuss each of the Twelve Steps In the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.