Step Work

Carla · Carla

Hello Fellow Acoas, Well, I understand that you are on step 3, right? Well, here is my confusion. I was one who thought I had to earn love and approval with my deeds and my deeds were never enough, so, of course, it follows that I turned into a superachiever and everyone hated me eve...

barbara · barbara

What exactly is Step 3? I understand its a Letting Go, feeling like we have a safety net. But is it giving up obsessing over something we have no control over? or is it letting others decide the outcome?

amanda2u2 · amanda2u2

Step 3 was the hardest of all of them for me. Trust is a big issue for me, as described in the ACoA Step 3. Having been abused in one way or another for most of my life, I trusted absolutely no one, including myself, and including God. My 'understanding' of God at that point was that he was like my father, slig...

Carla · Carla

Hi acoa friends, Yep, step 4, 150 negative, criticizing thoughts did I find. I thought for step 4, I would make a list of fearless inventory items, so I came up with 152 negative realizations! Ha! You would think I could at least find 10 positive thoughts about myself! So, item 153 is: "a...

wille · wille

hello to all, Happy new year! The steps are so grounding and central to recovery. Heck I am still figuring out whut it means to recover. I have put up boundaries with or to some members of my family and open doors to other family members as they show their knowing to program ideolog...

bobl · bobl

What is my concept of a HP at this time? What would it take to allow my concept of my HP to change? Have past experiences affected my concept of a HP? If so, how? What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a Power greater than myself? Do...

dot · dot

I stayed at Step Three for several years because I couldn't seem to turn anything over for very long - consequently without believing in a Higher Power I felt I was failing. Then one night at an AA/Al-Anon discussion meeting an AA friend pointed out to me that the only thing I had to do in Step Three wa...

pscsquint · pscsquint

Hello, I am new to this site, and new to ACOA. There was no alcohol or drug abuse in my family. They were just so totally dysfunctional that I can identify with the Laundry List, the Problem, the traits and now am seeking the solution. I have just started to write in my journal about ever...

rollie · rollie

Hi, I am new to all this and I thought it would be nice to share my story, although I am finding that everyone's story is very similar to mine. My husband, the addict, has been sober for over a year now. YEAH!!! Although he is not living the AA philsophy like he has in the past. But I thought I would feel be...

amanda2u2 · amanda2u2

from "The 12 Steps for Adult Children" revised p.21 "We live in a culture that places a high value on individual accomplishment. Most of us, from the time we were small children, were bombarded by the ideal of high achievement. Being competetive in school, sports, and business is viewed as importa...

pscsquint · pscsquint

Can anyone tell me if there are any meetings during the week and also during the daytime that are online? I live in Oregon and so I am PST time. Between 9:00 and 11:00 in the morning and between 2:00 and 4:00 in the afternoon would be super. Not sure how to get to the online meeting tha...

dot · dot

Step Three - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to God as we understood him. From: Paths to Recovery - pg. 28 (copyright 1997, by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. Limited use by express written permissiom of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc) We pften have to ta...

Carla · Carla

Hi John/Oz, This would not be a proper holiday without saying thank you for all your work. It has and is making a tremendous change in my life. Thanks also for the hepful comments below. But, oh drat, how do I change my user name? Can I be toto123 instead of Carla, from whom I mor...

amanda2u2 · amanda2u2

from 'The 12 Steps for Adult Children" "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God." "Imagine the insanity of trying to perform surgery on ourselves. At the first hint of pain from the scalpel, we would stop. Healing would never happen. It is just as ins...

dot · dot

Step Three - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. 1. How do I feel about turning my will over to a Higher Power for guidance? 2. How do I know who or what my Higher Power is? 3. How can I stop thinking, trying and considering, and actually make...

amanda2u2 · amanda2u2

from the AA '12 Steps and 12 Traditions' book: Step 3 - "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." "... In the first two Steps we engaged in reflection. We saw that we were powerless over alcohol, but we also perceived that faith of some kind, if only in A...

Carla · Carla

Hi all, This is a test. Which step are you on? Am new here. Actually it's really toto not carla, which is my user name, but don't know how to change it. Had trouble registering. Have done steps 1,2, 3 but got stuck on 3 cuz don't know will of HP and wanted to wipe...

dot · dot

Step One - Admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable. 1. Do I accept that I can't control another person's drinking? Another person's behavior? 2. How do I feel when the alcoholic refuses to be and do what I want? How do I respond? 3. How can I let go of o...

angelinme908 · angelinme908

I am new to the message board but had read that a new step is started every two weeks. Since it has been two weeks since step two was posted, I wondered if we are starting step 3 now. If not yet, that is fine, I am still working on step 2. Angelina

amanda2u2 · amanda2u2

Whether we are doing the 12 Steps in the AA program, alanon, ACoA , or NA or whatever,, they are the same basic Steps. I find that reading all of the versions helps me. I read AA. I read ACoA and find that particularly helpful. I like AA because the people focus on self improvement and how self impr...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The Fine Line- Step 3 (Preview) Hello Fellow Acoas, Well, I understand that you are on step 3, right? Well, here is my confusion. I was one who thought I had to earn love and approval with my deeds and my deeds were never enough, so, of course, it follows that I turned into a superachiever and everyone hated me eve...	Carla	4	1650	Jan 18, 2006 by lollyloopp
	Step 3 AlAnon - is it not obsessing or letting others walk over us? (Preview) What exactly is Step 3? I understand its a Letting Go, feeling like we have a safety net. But is it giving up obsessing over something we have no control over? or is it letting others decide the outcome?	barbara	4	1743	Jan 18, 2006 by lollyloopp
	Step 3 shares (Preview) Step 3 was the hardest of all of them for me. Trust is a big issue for me, as described in the ACoA Step 3. Having been abused in one way or another for most of my life, I trusted absolutely no one, including myself, and including God. My 'understanding' of God at that point was that he was like my father, slig...	amanda2u2	5	1634	Jan 18, 2006 by lollyloopp
	150 negative thoughts! (Preview) Hi acoa friends, Yep, step 4, 150 negative, criticizing thoughts did I find. I thought for step 4, I would make a list of fearless inventory items, so I came up with 152 negative realizations! Ha! You would think I could at least find 10 positive thoughts about myself! So, item 153 is: "a...	Carla	4	1761	Jan 13, 2006 by wille
	It ain't 4 sissies (Preview) hello to all, Happy new year! The steps are so grounding and central to recovery. Heck I am still figuring out whut it means to recover. I have put up boundaries with or to some members of my family and open doors to other family members as they show their knowing to program ideolog...	wille	2	1284	Jan 13, 2006 by wille
	Some Step 2 Questions from P2R. (Preview) What is my concept of a HP at this time? What would it take to allow my concept of my HP to change? Have past experiences affected my concept of a HP? If so, how? What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a Power greater than myself? Do...	bobl	11	2028	Jan 13, 2006 by lollyloopp
	Getting past Step Three (Preview) I stayed at Step Three for several years because I couldn't seem to turn anything over for very long - consequently without believing in a Higher Power I felt I was failing. Then one night at an AA/Al-Anon discussion meeting an AA friend pointed out to me that the only thing I had to do in Step Three wa...	dot	3	1581	Jan 12, 2006 by bobl
	Online Meetings (Preview) Hello, I am new to this site, and new to ACOA. There was no alcohol or drug abuse in my family. They were just so totally dysfunctional that I can identify with the Laundry List, the Problem, the traits and now am seeking the solution. I have just started to write in my journal about ever...	pscsquint	6	1477	Jan 12, 2006 by pscsquint
	I'm new... (Preview) Hi, I am new to all this and I thought it would be nice to share my story, although I am finding that everyone's story is very similar to mine. My husband, the addict, has been sober for over a year now. YEAH!!! Although he is not living the AA philsophy like he has in the past. But I thought I would feel be...	rollie	3	1424	Jan 12, 2006 by lollyloopp
	Step 1 - Adult Children (Preview) from "The 12 Steps for Adult Children" revised p.21 "We live in a culture that places a high value on individual accomplishment. Most of us, from the time we were small children, were bombarded by the ideal of high achievement. Being competetive in school, sports, and business is viewed as importa...	amanda2u2	4	1546	Jan 12, 2006 by pscsquint
	Daytime ACOA meetings (Preview) Can anyone tell me if there are any meetings during the week and also during the daytime that are online? I live in Oregon and so I am PST time. Between 9:00 and 11:00 in the morning and between 2:00 and 4:00 in the afternoon would be super. Not sure how to get to the online meeting tha...	pscsquint	0	924	Jan 11, 2006 by pscsquint
	Step Three - Al-Anon (Preview) Step Three - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to God as we understood him. From: Paths to Recovery - pg. 28 (copyright 1997, by Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. Limited use by express written permissiom of Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc) We pften have to ta...	dot	5	1899	Jan 6, 2006 by bobl
	reply to John: Danke! (Preview) Hi John/Oz, This would not be a proper holiday without saying thank you for all your work. It has and is making a tremendous change in my life. Thanks also for the hepful comments below. But, oh drat, how do I change my user name? Can I be toto123 instead of Carla, from whom I mor...	Carla	0	1160	Jan 2, 2006 by Carla
	Step 3 - ACoA (Preview) from 'The 12 Steps for Adult Children" "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God." "Imagine the insanity of trying to perform surgery on ourselves. At the first hint of pain from the scalpel, we would stop. Healing would never happen. It is just as ins...	amanda2u2	0	2350	Jan 2, 2006 by amanda2u2
	Step Three - Questions (Preview) Step Three - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him. 1. How do I feel about turning my will over to a Higher Power for guidance? 2. How do I know who or what my Higher Power is? 3. How can I stop thinking, trying and considering, and actually make...	dot	0	1014	Jan 1, 2006 by dot
	Step 3 - AA (Preview) from the AA '12 Steps and 12 Traditions' book: Step 3 - "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." "... In the first two Steps we engaged in reflection. We saw that we were powerless over alcohol, but we also perceived that faith of some kind, if only in A...	amanda2u2	0	1421	Dec 31, 2005 by amanda2u2
	Step ?? (Preview) Hi all, This is a test. Which step are you on? Am new here. Actually it's really toto not carla, which is my user name, but don't know how to change it. Had trouble registering. Have done steps 1,2, 3 but got stuck on 3 cuz don't know will of HP and wanted to wipe...	Carla	3	1284	Dec 30, 2005 by amanda2u2
	Step One questions (Preview) Step One - Admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable. 1. Do I accept that I can't control another person's drinking? Another person's behavior? 2. How do I feel when the alcoholic refuses to be and do what I want? How do I respond? 3. How can I let go of o...	dot	4	2171	Dec 30, 2005 by moonstorm
	Steps going slower? (Preview) I am new to the message board but had read that a new step is started every two weeks. Since it has been two weeks since step two was posted, I wondered if we are starting step 3 now. If not yet, that is fine, I am still working on step 2. Angelina	angelinme908	2	1302	Dec 29, 2005 by angelinme908
	Step 2 shares (Preview) Whether we are doing the 12 Steps in the AA program, alanon, ACoA , or NA or whatever,, they are the same basic Steps. I find that reading all of the versions helps me. I read AA. I read ACoA and find that particularly helpful. *I like AA because the people focus on self improvement and how self impr...*	amanda2u2	6	1707	Dec 27, 2005 by Shay
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Learn how the 12 Steps work. Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! We discuss each of the Twelve Steps In the order they are written, one step at a time, every two weeks.